Your wedding invitations are one of the most important elements of your wedding day because they provide guests with crucial information. Your wedding website, which you should create if you haven’t already, is also a great way to keep guests informed. While some details of your wedding don’t follow a strict set of rules, your invitations, for the most part, do. Here are some answers to your most pressing wedding-invite-related questions.
Do we have to send out a Save-the-Date and when should we send out?
No, you don’t have to send out a save-the-date, this is a fairly new and totally optional step. They are just to give your guests a heads up when your wedding date will be, you can choose to send or not to send. Generally speaking, giving notice six to nine months in advance is great. If you are planning a destination wedding or if you have a lot of guests who are coming from out of town, you should generally send out your save-the-dates nine to 12 months before your wedding.
How many wedding invitations will be needed？
It’s one per household, not one per individual guest that is invited. Any child age 18 years or older should receive their own invitation regardless of whether they still live at home with their parents. Roommates get their own invitations.
When should we order our wedding invitations?
It’s a good idea to start looking and ordering your wedding invitations at least 3-6 months before your wedding date. This will give you enough time to search for options, compare prices and styles, and order and assemble the invitations before mailing them out.
What information should we include on our invitations?
The basic information that should be included in your wedding invitations are:
- Names of the bride and groom
- Names of the parents or hosts (optional)
- Day, date (including the year), and time of the ceremony
- Location of the ceremony
- Address of the ceremony location
- City and state of the ceremony location
If the reception is taking place in the same location as the ceremony, you should list the reception information as well. There are many wedding invitation wording samples available online to help you get started.
When should we send out our wedding invitations?
Traditionally, invitations go out six to eight weeks before the wedding—that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if they don’t live in town. If it’s a destination wedding, give guests more time and send them out three months ahead of time. Most couples also send out save-the-date cards. They go out at 6 to 8 months.
When should we make the deadline for RSVPs?
Make your RSVP date 2 to 3 weeks before your wedding date to allow enough time for you to get a final headcount to the caterer (one week before) and to finalize your seating chart. If some guests still haven’t responded by your deadline, give them a quick call and ask for their RSVPs (still via mail) so you have all their information.
Where do we include information about our wedding website?
Your wedding website should be included on your save-the-date. A simple “daisyandsage.com” is all you really need. If you’d like (or if you don’t have save-the-dates), you can include the web address in the formal invitations with an insert, a small card that informs guests they can find more details online.
Can we include our registry info on our invitations or save-the-dates?
In a word, no. Including registry info on the wedding invitations or save-the-dates is still considered impolite because it can come off as though you’re asking for gifts. Go ahead and put your registry info directly on your wedding website. (The Knot All-in-One Registry allows you to include links from all the places you are registered.) You can also tell your wedding party, parents, and close friends where you’re registered and let them fill guests in.
Can we invite our guests to just the Ceremony?
No, it is not considered polite to only invite guests to the ceremony and not the reception. Inviting someone to the ceremony implies that they are also invited to the reception, as it is seen as impolite to ask someone to attend the ceremony but not the following celebration. It may give the impression that the hosts only want the guests to attend the ceremony and not the reception to save money, which is not ideal for a wedding celebration.
We’re having an adults-only wedding (no kids).How can we make sure this is clear to our guests?
Address your invitations correctly—to each guest by name, not “and guest”—and guests should understand that the invite is meant for only those mentioned. If you find that some reply with their children’s names added, give them a call and explain you’re having an adults-only wedding and you hope they can still attend. If there are a lot of kids in your family, you may want to consider hiring or arranging for a babysitter. It’s definitely not required, but it’s a nice gesture. Just be sure to include this information on the wedding website.
How do we let guests know our dress code?
The easiest way to get your point across is to include a dress code in the lower right-hand corner of the invite or on a reception card. “Black tie,” “cocktail attire,” or “casual attire” are all acceptable. Your invitation design will also clue guests in. An ultra-formal, traditional invite with letterpress and calligraphy will give guests a hint of the formal nature of the event, whereas a square invite with a playful font and bright colors would fit a much more casual style. Another way is to direct guests to your wedding website, where you can go into more detail about the weekend events and dress code in a more informal forum.
Do we have to invite every guest with a date or a “plus-one”?
No, you don’t have to invite every guest with a plus-one or a date. If a guest isn’t married or in a serious relationship, it’s perfectly acceptable to invite them solo. Most guests will understand that an invitation without “and Guest” or another name means they aren’t invited with a plus-one. While it’s always nice to invite everyone with a guest, if you’re having a small wedding, your family and friends should understand your reasoning. What should you do if a guest RSVPs for two? Call them up and explain that you’re having an intimate wedding and, unfortunately, you weren’t able to invite everyone with a guest. If you realize that nearly everyone will be coupled up, consider extending a plus-one invitation to your few single friends and family.
Who should we give a “plus-one” to?
It’s a good idea to give a plus one to any guests who are in a serious, committed relationship, whether they are married, engaged, or living together. If you have single guests who may not know many other people at the wedding, it’s also considerate to offer them a plus one so that they can bring a friend or date. However, you’re not obligated to give a plus one to every guest on your list, so use your discretion and budget to determine who will receive the offer.
Do we have to use an inner envelope?
Inner envelopes are not required but can be useful for making it clear who is invited and who is not. They are typically slightly smaller than the larger outer envelope and are not gummed (sticky). If you don’t find the inner envelope tradition important, you can skip it and use the outer envelope only, addressing it to everyone who is invited. This can help save your budget for other wedding expenses.
Where do you put the return address on wedding invitations?
The return address usually goes on the back flap of the envelope. Also, the return address used should be that of the person(s) whom you’ve designated to receive response cards, be it your parents or you (traditionally, whoever is hosting the wedding handles response cards). Don’t forget that the RSVP envelope should also be printed with this address (and should include postage).
How to address our guests on the invitation and envelope?
The way you address the invitation is important because it indicates who you are really inviting. Properly addressing your wedding invitation envelopes can be a tricky process, and much care should go into addressing both the inner and outer envelopes, or addressing the outer envelope only. It’s important to use formal titles such as Mr., Mrs., or Miss, and to use full names instead of nicknames or abbreviations. If you are inviting a family, address the envelope to the parents and include the children’s names underneath. For unmarried couples living together, you can address the invitation using both names on the same line or on separate lines. Click here to learn more about wedding invitation addressing etiquette and rules.
If our wedding reception is for immediate family only, is it okay to invite people to the ceremony only?
No, it’s not appropriate to invite guests to only the ceremony if the reception is for immediate family only. Everyone who attends the ceremony (or bridal shower, engagement party, or wedding reception) should be invited to the wedding, which includes the ceremony and the reception. By inviting guests to one and not the other, you’re essentially saying you want them there for the actual ceremony but don’t want to pay for their plate at your party or don’t care enough to have them there to celebrate your newlywed status.
I invited my friend and her boyfriend (by name on the invite) to the wedding, but they recently broke up. Now she wants to bring a friend I don’t like—can I tell her no?
Because you worded the invitation correctly by having her boyfriend’s name on the envelope (rather than “and guest”), you have every right to say no. As a rule, invitations are nontransferable when people are invited by name. Try explaining you’re not friendly with her proposed guest and you’d prefer the wedding be limited to very good friends and family. If you invited all of your single friends sans dates, let her know she won’t be the only one coming solo (in case that’s her worry).
When should we send Bridal Shower Invitations?
Your bridal shower invitations will be mailed by the Hostesses of the shower directly. Typically, four weeks in advance of the shower is the proper time to mail these invitations.
When should we send Bachelorette Party Invitations?
Your Bachelorette Party invitations will be mailed by the Hostesses of the party directly, and usually your Maid/Matron of Honor is in charge of this party. Typically, four weeks in advance of the party is the proper time to mail these invitations.
When should we send Rehearsal Dinner Invitations?
The Rehearsal Dinner invitations will be mailed by the Hosts (traditionally the parents of the Groom) of the dinner directly. Typically, two to three weeks in advance of the dinner is the proper time to mail these invitations. If a guest has declined attending the wedding, they should not receive an invitation to the dinner. Be sure to cross reference the guest list with their responses to the wedding invitation before mailing invitations to the dinner.
When should we send wedding Thank You Cards?
You should send thank you notes for all gifts received during the course of planning your wedding. For gifts received during the engagement party and shower, send a thank you within two to three weeks of the festivities; for gifts received before the wedding date, send a card as soon as possible but definitely before the wedding; for gifts given on the wedding day, mail a thank you card within three months. Click to learn about thank you wording samples.